Really?
by CastilineFantasy
Summary: Reid's had asthma sinds he was a kid, but can he still hide it when he's late at work because of it? And what will he do when Hotch thinks he's doing drugs again? Hotch/Reid friendship. Rated T for safety.
1. Chapter 1

Really?

Hey guys! So this is my first story on fanfiction (my first story I ever wrote, actually) and I hope you'll like it. Reviews are always welcome :) Enjoy!

Disclaimer: i do not own Criminal Minds or any of the characters.

"Sorry, I had a... situation." Morgan watched as Reid tried to explain why he was late. He sounded out of breath, like he had been running, wich Morgan realized he probably had. Everybody stared at him, making Reid grow bright red, and, yeah, altough he was amused, Morgan felt sorry for the kid. He was already socially awkward, he didn't really need extra attention.

Stil, he couldn't help wondering what the 'situation' was about, because that boy was never late unless he had a good reason for it. The only times that he didn't came in time, was when he was struggling with his addiction, and of course, when he cut his hair to the 'boysband-style' as Hotch liked to call it. Yes, it probably was non of his business, but his curiousity didn't care. After some curious looks from everyone, and a lot of blushing and fidgetting from Reid, everybody was updated on the new case, so Hotch started giving orders. "Garcia, see what you can find on that Cody Jackson. Jj, Prentiss, you guys pay a visit to the Martles family while Morgan and Rossi work on the profile. Reid, you and me are going to work out the geographical profile." This was strange, because their boss rarely did geographical profiles, and Reid suspected that he would need to explain his 'situation' near once they were alone. And he was right.

As soon as the rest of the team left the room Hotch said "Reid, my office, now."

'He wants to know why I'm late.' Spencer tought, following the older agent to his personal interrogation room. This morning he had this very vivid nightmare about his mother having an episode and strangling him to death because she tought he was one of 'them'. Actually, it came pretty damn close to something he had experienced when he was younger. He woke in the middle of a full-blast asthma attack, desperately searching for his inhaler, in the dark, what made him panic even more. After he had found and inhaled his medication (apparantly, he hadn't took it out of his messenger bag the day before) and he could breathe a bit better, he had to try all kinds of stuff to get his breathing back to (almost) normal. Hot coffee (with a lot of sugar, of course), a very steamy shower, relaxing exercises,... By the time the tight feeling in his chest had subsided a little, it suddenly hit him, and a glance on the clock told him he was right: he was ten minutes late already, and he was far from ready to go to work. When he eventually arrived at the BAU, the running and stressing out about being late had messed with his lungs again and he had to stop outside to calm his ragged breathing. Nobody knew he had asthma, and he also didn't want anybody to know, but he was pretty good at hiding it. He tought it was kind of embarressing to have a disease like that, and he was already the youngest member of the team. They would think he was weak, needed protecting like he was still a child.

And so he sat here, in the office of his boss, as if he had done something wrong. It made him uncomfortable. "Reid... I'm sorry but have to ask you this..." He had expected something else than the tone his boss was using. It was stern, yet soft, and maybe a little concerned. "I'm asking this for your own good..." He let out a deep sigh. "Did you use something today?" At first, Reid was confused, he had expected everything but this question, but when he realized what his boss was talking about, he automaticly fell into defense mode. "What?No!" Why would he think that? He didn't do anything wrong, did he?

"Really?" He was angry now, dissapointed. "Then you will have no problem explaining to me why you were late this morning? Or why your hands are shaking, maybe?" Now it made sense. The shaking was caused by the medication he took for his asthma, but he didn't think anyone would notice. Reid sighed. He couldn' lie about it. He would feel guilty about it for the rest of his life. "It... It's from the albuterol" he muttered. There was a brief pause. "Albuterol? So you're taking steroids now?" Hotch said, his face angry and his voice now full of disbelief. "No! It's not..." Reid wanted to say he was wrong all the way, but right at that moment, Prentiss came in "Boss, we have a possible lead on..." she said, and then she paused to watch the scene in front of her. "...on the case." She decided she wasn't needed anymore, and then left with a small "Sorry, I should have knocked."

"We'll discuss this later." Said Hotch, and before he had the chance to say something, he was gone. Reid didn't know what to do now. He had made Hotch, who tought he was doing drugs again, angry with him. He was late this morning, and Prentiss was most likely feeling guilty for intruding the conversation, no, discussion between her boss and her collegue, all because of him. 'Calm down' he tought, realizing the tight feeling in his chest became worse. 'It isn't that bad.'

~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~

Jj watched how the youngest member of the team changed his sitting position every 5 seconds or so, going from hunched over to straight up, eyes facing the bright lights of the room as if he didn't care about how they were going to enter the house. He was always so focused, but right now it was like he was on another planet. Something was obviously bothering him, making him uncomfortable and distracting the young genius from some important information. Maybe it was the case that got to him. After all he was acting a little strange sinds the beginning of it. She observed him closely, watched how he was bent slightly forward, his upper arms flat on the table and his head bent to the case file, but she knew he couldn't be studying it since he had an eidetic memory and he most likely could ramble it all off. He seemed so concentrated on... Something, not what Hotch and Rossi were explaining. Maybe he's nervous about something. He checked his watch again. Yeah, that must be it.

~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~

25 minutes.

It couldn't take much longer, could it? The first ten minutes had gone great, but afterwards he had started to feel his chest tighten up. From there on it went downhill. The wheezing began only moments later, and he breathed as careful and quiet as he could, trying not to panic. He gave up listening a few minutes ago, because he needed all his focus to keep breathing and at the same time pretend nothing was out of the ordinary. His lungs hadn't calmed down since that attack two days ago, and he hoped nobody had noticed something was off. 'Darn, Hotch, hurry up!' He tought 'I can't breathe. Please.'

Fortunately, as if he had heard his silent pleas, Hotch ended with a "Good luck everyone." and Reid scooted trough the hall to the shower- and dressroom, not bothering to even look around,

unaware of someone following him.

If I made any mistakes, I'm sorry. You can always put them in a comment so I won't make one of them again. I'm only 13 and English is not my mother language, so please don't go to hard on me. Anyway, next chapter will be up soon.

Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Many thanks to theangelsarecoming, TeamJemTeamMalec, Duochanfan, Airaba, MCatry, lederra, KlaineShipper4Life, SamanthaBlue and CMSP.  
I really appreciate the fact that you took the time to review. I did my best to follow your advice.  
Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of the characters.

'Aaron, what are you doing?' He tought.

When he had seen Reid acting so... careless, totally not paying attention to what he said, he got mad.  
He was going to tell the kid exactly how he felt about this behavior. But as soon as he finished his explanation,  
the younger agent practicly runned out of the room.

What else could he do then follow him?

Reid turned right to the showers and then walked on to the lockers. From the sight of it, he wanted to be alone,  
because now he was scanning the room and the hall for people.

When he didn't saw anyone (Hotch had managed to find a good hiding spot just in time) he sat down on the bench, hunched over with his eyes closed. He made a sort of strangled noise, like he was about to cry. Hotch felt like he was intruding the kid's privacy, but he couldn't just walk away now.

The younger agent started searching trough his messenger bag, and Hotch would swear he heard a wheezing sound coming from the boys lips.  
Every piece of the puzzle fell in place the moment Reid took a small, blue item from his bag. An inhaler.

'Albuterol. Asthma medicine.' his brain told him. He felt so stupid, and guilty. He had been mad at him, suspected a relapse even, all because of a disease. The kid couldn't help it, right? He probably had enough problems already without it.

He watched as the genius struggled to breathe in his first dose of medication. God, how long was the attack going on already?  
'He must have had it while I was doing my explanation about the suspect.' he tought.

Reid took one, two, three hits on his inhaler, and then sat down with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands,  
trying to take deep, steady breaths and miserably failing. Hotch felt sorry for the kid, wished he could do something to help, but after all, he hadn't been here, right?

Reid took one last puff. 'Relax, man. Get yourself together.' He coached himself.  
Once his breathing had evened out a little, he gathered his stuff and left.

~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~

The ride in the SUV was filled with silence.  
Maybe it was because they were on their way to catch another cold-blooded murderer, but Hotch had a strong feeling that wasn't the only reason:  
they could all feel the tension in the air, especially around him.

He couldn't get what happened earlier out of his head. Thoughts kept swirling around in his skull, giving him a headache.

'How long has he had it? Since he was a kid? What about his mother? Did he have to manage it all by himself?'  
He rubbed his head in frustration. What díd he know?

He didn't even had a clue that the youngest agent had asthma. How could he not know?

Reid had a physical examination to get with the FBI, but they didn't find anything wrong. After all there were plenty good field agents that suffered from asthma. Since Hotch was his medical proxy, he could've read his file. But he never did that. Most of the time what was in the files was private.  
He had assumed that if there was something important the genius would've told him about it.

As Hotch thought about that he felt the familiar feeling of anger rise. Why hadn't he told him?

Sorry, I know this isn't the best chapter ever, but I was in a hurry to finish it because I'm going to a place with no Internet for a week and I wanted to give you guys something. Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, or followed. You're the best!


	3. Chapter 3

Hey there! First of all, I'm so sorry for the delay.  
I really wanted to get this up sooner but school starts again in a week so I spent a lot of time packing all my books and stuff. Please don't hate me :$. Also, thanks to Madhatter98, FudoTwin17, Zeny, Der Alte, Airaba, Steph, Lenika08, Party at Reid's (if that's the name, I'm not even sure), Rebecca1, freezingpizza14, Duochanfan, gehenavieve, lederra (and yes, I enjoyed staying at my grandma's, thank you :P), theangelsarecoming, Haven't Had Enough, and SamanthaBlue. Love y'all!

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or the characters.

_  
Maybe he had gone to far.

Sure, arguing with his boss wasn't his greatest idea ever, but he didn't expect him to respond like this.

Now and then he would sense this... intense glare, almost burning a hole in his bullet-proof vest. And only one person could make you feel that way. 'Of course, genius. He thinks you're a drug addict about to enter a criminal's house, with a gun, while you can't even shoot properly.' Well, part of it was true, he had to admit that.

However, suggesting he was using drugs again, or steroids for that matter, hurt him deeply. He worked so damn hard to stay clean. And then all it takes to lose people's trust is a stupid disease. He felt like screaming, but deep inside, he knew he was just sad, disappointed maybe, that his boss only trusted him that much.

The SUV came to a stop. Behind them SWAT-agents were already exiting the vehicle, so they got out to follow them.  
He would have time to think about this later. Right now, they had a murderer to catch.

The arrest went surprisingly well. They caught the unsub off-guard, while he was listening with his eyes closed to the victim reading a book. When they grabbed his wrists to cuff him, the man just came along without the slightest struggle. He knew his game was over.

The team managed to get a confession out of him quite easily. Since he was a fugitive from Israel and he didn't live here officially, he brought a lot of paperwork with him, but apart from that it was almost to good to be true.

On the jet back to Quantico the team seemed relaxed, more than they had been in a long time. Prentiss, JJ, Morgan and Reid were in the middle of what seemed like a very interesting game of poker, and Rossi was reading a thick book. The only one who wasn't that overly cheerful was Hotch. But to be honest he was never really "Mr Happy". That was okay though, because they had Garcia for that.

Suddenly Reid stood up, mumbling he had to use the bathroom, blushing a deep shade of red.

"Sure kid." Morgan said, moving aside to let the younger agent pass. Reid wrenched himself through the small space between the table and the seats and started to walk towards the bathroom when Hotch asked

"Everything Ok?"  
The question got Hotch a few strange looks not only from Reid but everyone on the jet. The genius had stopped and twisted sideways on one foot, so he was facing Hotch, who only now realized (to late of course) that he had asked that out loud.

"Uhm... Yes?" he made it sound like a question. 'Why?' Spencer Reid had been in a lot of awkward moments in his life, and this was definitely one of them. After a few seconds that seemed like minutes, Reid broke the stare, only to scrape his throat and continue walking to the bathroom, totally confused.

~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~

"Stupid thing!" Prentiss bounced around on one foot, holding the other one with two hands while wincing in pain.

You didn't have to be a genius to figure out she dropped her briefcase on her toes. Reid and JJ tried to hold back a chuckle. On the previous case, the dark-haired agent lost her go-bag and so she was forced to get another one. Unfortunately for her, the bag she liked most was also the least practical.

"I'll take it." Reid offered after trying to conceal his laughter with a few coughs. Emily eyed him suspiciously, as if figuring out if he was serious or not. Deciding he was, she smiled, dropped the bag in front of him and said:

"All yours." She then walked away with JJ and left Reid with Hotch and her baggage.

'Damn,' he thought while picking it up 'this stuff really is heavy. What could you possibly need on a case?' With him it was some clothes, underwear, a toothbrush,... basic stuff. 'Well, it might have something to do with the fact she's a woman.' He thought.

"You want me to carry it?" Hotch asked.

"What?"

"The briefcase, do you want me to carry it?" he repeated.

"I heard you, but no, you don't have to carry anything."

'What does he think I am, a baby?' Reid thought.

Hotch was startled and at the same time irritated by the harshness of his answer.  
He was trying to help the kid for Gods sake!

They needed to talk.

*Frustrated growl* Agh! This all sounded so much better in my head. I just can't find the right words. Anyway, thanks for everyone who reads or reviews. I promise I'll put the next chapter up before Monday this time.

Also, you are so nice to me even though I'm not always writing that good, so... Thank you so much! :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey! So, like I promised, before Monday.**  
**Thanks to theangelsarecoming, Lenika08, Annabeth24, Duochanfan, Sue1313, Rebecca1, TeamJemTeamMalec, Meanxruki, Freezingpizza14 and Der Alte. Reviews make me so happy! :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of the characters.**

"So, what's up with those two huh?" Garcia asked quietly.  
They got back an hour ago, and she had immediately picked up on the tension between their boss and Reid.

"I don't know Baby Girl but I wouldn't ask if I were you." Morgan answered.

"He isn't in trouble for being late is he?"

'That would be unfair' she thought, 'he never breaks the rules on purpose.'

"I don't know Garcia... but I guess we'll soon find out." Morgan replied, watching their supervisor passing the doorway, followed by a nervous-looking Reid.

~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~

'That's the second time this week you genius.' Reid said to himself.

He was in the kitchen, just adding sugar to his third cup of coffee when Hotch came walking in, telling him he needed to talk to him.  
'Drug inspection Reid' he had thought, following the older agent to his office.

Hotch closed the door.  
"So... Why I wanted to talk to you..." He was interrupted by a few coughs from Reid.

"Are you..." He wanted to ask if he was okay,  
but he got the feeling that the younger agent wouldn't take that so well.

"I'm FINE. Stop mothering over me! I'm not a baby!" he bit back.

"Reid I..."

"Last week you weren't that concerned huh? _Reid, did you take drugs again_?" He asked, in a bad imitation of his boss' voice. "I'm not some kind of junky!"

"I didn't say you are, Reid." His voice was soft. "I'm sorry for that. I know, you're not taking drugs or using steroids,..."

"Wow, you figured that out all by yourself?"

Hotch had to try really hard to keep his composure now. When he answered, his voice was a bit louder.  
"Maybe, you should've told me you had asthma!"

Reid couldn't hide the surprise on his face, but he recovered quickly. "MAYBE, I would've, if YOU had at least LISTENED!"

"Look I'm sorry, okay?"

"Sorry doesn't fix everything, you know?"  
And then, more quietly. "It doesn't bring back trust." His anger had made place for sadness.

"Reid..." He didn't know what to say. In his head, he had been through different scenarios. Reid scolding at him, laughing at him, even not talking at all or running away, but never this.

"I'm sorry."

"I thought you trusted me." The pain in Reid's voice was unmistakeable.

"I still do. It's not your fault you have asthma, I just wish you told me from the beginning."

"Yeah, I'm sorry for that. I just don't wanna be treated different." His voice was hoarse from screaming.

"So, how did you find out?"

Silence.

"Uhm Reid, don't be mad about this but..."

"What? What did you do?" Asking someone not to become mad before you even said something usually meant it wasn't good.

"Hotch?"

"I... Kind of... Followed you to the lockers after the briefing." There, he said it. No turning back now.

"You what?!" His tone was one of utter disbelief.

"I am so sorry for invading your privacy like that. I wasn't thinking."

"How could you do that?"

Reid gave him an angry glare and bolted out of the room, slamming the door shut.

~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~

A few minutes after Hotch and Reid left, they could hear their voices getting louder. Most of it sounded like a blur but Morgan could make out a few words.

Reid saying " ...FINE...Not a baby..."  
"Last week... Concerned..."

"...Should've told me..." That was Hotch.

"Maybe... You... Listened!" Man, he didn't know Reid could be so mad.

Then the voices went quiet again. Everyone was listening in silence. Just as they thought that was all they were going to hear Reid's voice came back.

"What?!"

Then the sound of a door slamming, and to the surprise of Morgan, Garcia and Prentiss they saw Reid coming towards his desk.

It wasn't hard to see he was fuming.

He grabbed his pile of paperwork, stuffed it under his arm and mumbled something that sounded very much like "I'll finish this at home." and then something about privacy and, if Morgan wasn't mistaken, spies and voyeurs.

Before anyone could comprehend what was happening, the young genius had already disappeared in the elevator.

**So, that's it. I hope you liked it. I'll put the next chapter up as soon as I can.**

**Review please? :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey all! ****I am SO SORRY for not updating sooner, so thank you for everyone who still reads this.  
****I won't waste your time anymore by telling you how stupid teachers can be giving us so much homework. On to the story.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of the characters.**

- He had never been afraid of dark basements or obscure, cramped little rooms, but to be honest this one did scare him a little.  
He couldn't explain why though, it just had this... Bad vibe. Like when you enter a room and immediately your gut tells you to get the hell out of there because you don't want to be there.

Hotch was squeezed against the wall of what seemed like a small storage room.  
He couldn't really tell how big it was because it was so dark, he could only see a desk stuffed in the corner, books and some other strange objects he couldn't name covering the surface almost completely. More books were set in piles on the floor, covered in dust.

He groaned as he tried to get up, coming to the unfortunate conclusion that his hands and feet were tied.  
Focussing on the problem at hand, Hotch wasn't aware of the presence of another man in the room until he spoke.

"I see you're awake."

Hotch almost screamed like a little girl but recovered quickly from the shock when he saw who it was.

"Thank god Reid. Get me out of here."

No answer.

"Reid?"

He was confused. The younger agent didn't make any efforts to untie him. He just came a little bit closer, so Hotch could see him better. The genius always looked pale and thin, but now it showed more than ever.  
You could see his jawbones sticking out, eyes hollow and surrounded by dark circles. His fingers were only bones, no flesh, and his skin seemed almost transparent.

"Why? Why would I?"

Hotch paused for a moment, confused by the younger man's words.

"How do you mean why would I?" He didn't understand where he was going.  
"I asked you to-"

"I know what you asked."

"Than... what's the problem?" Hotch was getting more confused by the second.

Reid let out a creepy chuckle. "You don't remember?"

Hotch stared back, a puzzled look on his face.  
"What?"

"Kind of shows how much you cared about me."

'cared?' Hotch thought.

Reid stared at him for a moment, an expecting look on his face, as if his stare was going to remind him.  
"... I die and you don't even remember." He laughed. A humorless, sick laugh. "Sad, really..."

"Wait, what?! You didn't... I..." Hotch stuttered, looking for words but not finding them.  
"I would remember that!"

Another chuckle. "Well obviously you don't."

This situation was so absurd. He frowned as he tried to recall the last thing he knew, finding he couldn't.  
It was clearly some sort of strange joke coming from his mind. Was he hallucinating? He needed to get some sleep.

"I assume than you don't know how I died either?"

The silence told him enough.

"Why don't I show you? Actually, showing is not the right word..."

He pretended to be thinking as he took two big steps and crouched in front of him.

"I think... I'll make you feel it for yourself."

The older man's expression showed panic and fear. What was he going to do?

All thoughts dissapeared the moment Reid's long, bony fingers wrapped around his neck, tightening around his windpipe.  
Theories about this being a fantasy, a product of his imagination, vanished. All he could think was: 'I can't breathe.'

He struggled against the hands of the other agent, but his grip was just too tight. Black dots were starting to cloud his vision.

As his lungs screamed for oxygen his lips formed one last plea.  
"Please..."

Then everything went black.

~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~

Hotch woke with a loud gasp.

He was bathed in cold sweat and panting like he had just ran a marathon. Lying there in the dark he gratefully breathed in the oxygen, almost hyperventilating, choking on the air he desperately craved seconds ago. He switched on the lamp on his nightstand and then put his head in his hands.

He should've known it was a dream. Reid dying and then raise from death, choking him,...  
Really, it sounded like a scary story, told by twelve year olds around a campfire. Still, the dream had frightened him so much.  
He rarely got nightmares, and when he did they certainly weren't about ghosts.

Of course it was his subconscious trying to tell him something. Reid. In his dream he had died struggling to breathe.  
It must've been an asthma attack...

You can die from an asthma attack, right?  
Probably.

Suddenly he realized that he didn't know anything about asthma. Sure, he got the basic stuff: you couldn't breathe, used an inhaler, you could get attacks,...  
But that was it. He wouldn't know what to do if Reid had an asthma attack. He didn't know what could trigger it, what happened during one of them.

Now that Reid told him, he felt like it was partially his responsibility to make sure he was okay. He would have to do some research.

Deciding he wouldn't get much sleep tonight anyway, he got out of bed and switched on his laptop.  
While waiting for it to start up, he went to the kitchen to make himself a good cup of coffee.

Once he installed in front of the computer, he went to Google and typed: asthma. The first site that came up was Wikipedia, so he clicked it.

Asthma (from the Greek ἅσθμα, ásthma, "panting") is the common chronic inflammatory disease of the airways characterized by variable and recurring symptoms, reversible airflow obstruction, and bronchospasm. Symptoms include wheezing, coughing, chest tightness, and shortness of breath... (*)

Hotch sighed, knowing that in the hours following, he would read that a lot. -

**(*) source: wikipedia (of course I don't own that either)**

**A big thanks to Lenika08, Annabeth24, theangelsarecoming, Rebecca1, Steph Rainy, omgnotagain, Sue1313, A1fictiongrl and pipinheart.  
Love you!**

**I hope you don't hate me to much now, because reviews make me so happy. ****They'll make me write faster *puppy eyes* :)**


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